It is far better to lead your reader to the place you want them to go than to just hand it to them. By consistently telling your reader what is happening, you are insulting their intelligence. You are, in essence, telling them that either you don’t trust them to interpret what you are saying or that they won’t understand what you are trying to say, so you must tell them. You will lose many readers with this approach. Showing is one of the things that makes writing fun; it is part of the creative process. 

The Difference Between Telling and Showing

Remember our example of the clichéd panting dog in Developing Believable Characters? When you write, “the dog panted,” you are telling your readers what is happening. When you write, “the dog ran to the front of the house, excited to see his master. His tongue wet the floor with a mixture of exhaustion and anticipation,” you capture the imagination of your reader by showing them the dog is panting. 

The Science Behind Showing

It is proven that when two or more people witness the same incident, and you pull each of them aside and ask them to recall what happened, you will get two or more different stories. This is because we all see the world differently. If the incident is a car accident, you will have one who was focused on the blue car, the other the green car, while yet another did not turn their head until they heard the brakes squeal.  Each of us has a conditioned mind that focuses on certain aspects of what is going on around us. These aspects are determined by life experiences, prejudices, and biases, as well as things like our attention span. 

All of these attributes of your reader will play into how they “see” your writing. We all want our reader to see what we saw, to feel what we felt while we bled over the pages. But what we saw and the emotions we felt are our connection to our writing. Your reader will have a similar but different connection. If you talk about growing up in High School, your reader will picture their High School, not yours, even if you describe the colors and smells. This is why it is important to know when to pick your battles. 

 

When Should You Show

There is a time to show your reader, and there is a time to tell your reader. Most of the time, you will want to show your reader what is happening in your story. This is not so much giving details as it is bringing your story to life. This requires you to use the senses. Don’t simply say there was a thunderstorm outside. Describe the sounds, sights, and feelings that the thunderstorm brings. This is especially important when your character has a fear or fascination with storms.

The language you use is crucial to show. We touched on this a few days ago. Don’t merely type off a quick overused cliché to suit your need of conveying the emotions of your character. Be inventive. BUT do not confuse the use of adverbs for creative writing. SK says that the road to hell is paved with adverbs. Don’t tell your reader that a character said something angrily. Use their actions, facial expressions, and tone of voice to convince your reader that the character is angry. Thus, David was upset at what John said. He yelled angrily, “How dare you!” becomes, John’s criticism made David’s ears burn. He clenched his fists, looked deep into John’s eyes and said, “How dare you.” 

Notice two things. First, I did not mention that David was angry. But you can clearly see that he was. The second and more important thing is that I did not use an exclamation point. Mark Twain has said, “One should never use exclamation points in writing. It is like laughing at your own joke.” Let the reader determine the feeling behind the words. As in our example, the progression of David’s emotion led to an obvious outburst. Let your words guide your reader. It’s much more fun than telling them.

One thing you will notice when you start to show and not tell is that your sentences will be longer. But that is part of the buildup. However, be cautioned that it can become excessive and overdone.

The general rule is to always show your reader – until it’s time to tell.

 

When Should You Tell

Now comes the part where I contradict myself; It is not always good to show your readers every little detail. If what you are writing does not move the plot, add to the atmosphere, or convey valuable information, then it would be best to be brief and to the point. 

Telling is giving your reader a description of something that would normally be considered mundane. The sky is blue, the grass is green, and the moon is white. Average details that are unimportant are to be left out or be kept as brief as possible. You don’t need to go into detail about everything. Let your readers immerse themselves in your book. Too much detail can be overwhelming and will have them moving on to another book.  

People read to escape reality. The reality that is part of their laid-out lives. Work is routine, chores that have to be done, and life that is predictable. If you try and give your reader directions to follow when they want to be free to roam, you won’t have your readers for very long.

The only time you should describe something common is when it is not common, AND it gives importance to the story. Details can make or break the flow of your story. The reader is constantly looking for clues as to where the flow of the story is going. If you go on a two-paragraph rant on how the old house across the street looks, it better has something to do with the outcome of the story. Such unnecessary details could take the reader down a path that will get them lost. 

 

Final Thoughts

To show or to tell, that is the question. Most of the time, you will be showing. Showing grabs your reader and keeps them turning the pages, returning for your next entry, or clicking a subscribe button. Showing turns on the theater screen of your reader’s mind, but remember, be gentle because they have their own program playing already, your job as a writer is to guide them through the process. 

As an example, I have let my wife read part of my novel that I am writing. I have described my main character in detail, but to her, his eye color is different, as well as his hair color and length. Her mental picture of him is farther off than what I have built him up to be. So will your readers. So be gentle with your adjectives, leave room for interpretation. Let them delve into their world as they explore the world you have created. It is a shared adventure, and part of what writing successfully is all about.

 

The Sum of it All

This concludes this eight-part series on Writing Successfully. I hope you have learned something as I have. I write this summary a full two years after the initial publishing of this series. During the process I wrote a lot about the progress of writing a novel. Since the publication of this series, The Five Barred Gate has been published. At the time, I did not have a publisher, just the determination to get the book written, the determination to write successfully. 

I had a taste of success shortly after this series was published in my Children’s book series, Elissa the Curious Snail. It was a book I had written at the request of my daughter. Isabella Media heard about it, asked to see it, and requested to publish it. It gave me the courage to pursue my dream of getting The Five Barred Gate published. It was through a book signing for Elissa that I met an author who introduced me to my Five Barred Gate publisher. 

It all began with this series – applying what I am teaching each of you. I still use these techniques, day in and day out. Mind you, they have changed a bit. I am more of a Contract Freelancer now than UpWork Freelancer. But I have developed the relationships through UpWork that have taken me beyond the platform. You will get there too, but it has taken me two years to get to where I am. 

As for novels? My second novel, Little Reminders of Who I Am, is tentatively scheduled for a May release, and I am five chapters into my third novel. God is continuing to bless me with steady Freelance work, I have a contract with one company, and I write steadily for two others. Writing successfully is part of my daily routine. It began with those silly $2 per article three years ago. 

Have I ‘made it?” No, I don’t think so. Not if there is another word to write. Writing Successfully is a process. One never ‘makes it.’ I don’t ever think there will be a point where I will rest in considering myself as a successful writer. If I do, I think I will get lazy and forget to employ one of the eight points I have laid out. I hope you never get comfortable either. Keep writing, keep reading, keep getting better at what you do. It is a journey, and when you discover that writing is the passion that drives you, you will enjoy the journey for the rest of your life. 

Writing Successfully Show and Tell

Jeff S Bray

Jeff is a writer with a passion for God that comes through in everything he writes. A local First Baptist member and truck driver he loves to create works that glorify God.  In addition to his freelance work, Jeff has written a series of books called the Elissa the Curious Snail series which helps parents introduce basic faith concepts like prayer, even in the face of adversity, into their teachings in a fun and entertaining way. No faithful home with children or grandchildren should be without a copy. See his books at www.momentsfortheheart.com.

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